I don’t believe anyone is a failure. Sure, we have all failed at something. If you’re breathing air, you’ve failed. That doesn’t define you as a failure.
You’ve also got potential. True, there are some people who waste their lives or prefer to do evil, but until someone draws their last breath and passes into eternity, there is still hope. There is still potential to do great things, to do your best at what you’ve been put here to do, and be better than you were yesterday.
Whenever I do a drawing or painting, I start it in hope, and at about the midpoint, it goes through an ‘ugly’ phase. I’ve even had times where I considered painting a good coat of gesso over the whole thing and starting over.
I’ve felt that way about my life, too. Life can be hard, especially over the past few years. Sometimes I think of starting over somewhere else. Or, of just crawling into bed and not coming out until things change. I’ve thought maybe I should switch careers. But I love making art, and would just be running from what I love, because it got a little difficult.
And that’s when the ‘what ifs’ of the past crop up: ‘What if I had worked harder on my art?’ ‘What if I hadn’t wasted so much time?’ ‘What if had chosen that road instead of this one?’ ‘What if the current world never goes back to normal?’ Those are usually followed by the ‘if only’s: ‘If only I was taller, shorter, thinner, famous, had more money…’
These thoughts are not truth. They will run through your mind like rabbit trails while paralyzing you, if you let them. The truth is that you are fearfully (‘awesomely’) and wonderfully made. Your life is a work in progress, and, like my painting, you just have to keep going. God can’t steer a boat that’s dead in the water, only one that’s moving. And He will steer you in the right direction, if you pay attention.
I think I’ve only had one or two paintings I have set aside and said ‘Ok, that’s getting whitewashed for something new.’ No harm no foul. And I learned what not to do.
In life, you can’t whitewash yourself and start over. You are who you are, and God doesn’t make mistakes. You can change your path, try something new, or, keep being diligent at what you’re doing now.
You have potential. There is always hope. Just don’t give up.
